Saturday, March 7, 2015

Really?... WHY?

I get this question a lot.

A.  Lot.

In the defense of most (generally well meaning-type) people that say this to me, I have had a lot of changes recently.  2014 was probably the hardest and most transformative year in my life so far.  I have seen the darkness.  I came back.  I recovered from a (not so) "mystery" illness that had been plaguing me for some time.  I changed my eating.  I lost weight and changed my outer appearance somewhat.  I lost loved ones.  I felt the need to switch tracks.  I got a few more tattoos and generally, stepped way outside my comfort zone.

In the middle of it all, somewhere around July-ish, I was looking for a new job.  To say the bloom was off the rose would be a bit of an understatement.  The bloom was off, the rose was dead.  The dessicated bush was just a tangle of spines that would stick and grab at your clothing no matter how far away you thought you were from the damn thing.  It was time to go.  But where?  I was quietly cruising through listings on my phone one afternoon when I spied "Full Time Psychiatric Nurse - Nunavut".



I kept going but something nudged me to go look at it again.  There were incentives.  Bonuses.  A huge job description that suited my needs as a nurse and as a person.  No more shiftwork.  Lots of call.  Lots of money.  Everything from community care nursing and injections to crisis intervention.  Ooooooh... it was too lovely.

I fixed up my resume, and with nervousness bordering on an anxiety attack, I sent it off.

They called me in October.  By December they wanted me to come up now!  Wanting Christmas with the kids before I embarked off to places unknown, I pushed off my departure until January. 

The early morning of January 12th saw my family trundling my enormous pile of suitcases to the airport.  By that night (and after a journey that is a story into itself) I was snug in my new bed, in my new apartment, waiting for my new job to start in the morning.

Where the hell was I?  What the hell was I doing?  These questions and more ran through my head as I got a grasp on the place, on my apartment, on my job, on the people... anything and everything here is so much different than back home.  But, that is not a bad thing, as I have found out in my time here.  There is a lot of pain and problems and social issues.  There is also a lot of light, a lot of love and a lot of healing.

I've got a lot stacked against me.  I'm a hard to fit size.  I stopped eating most meat months ago as I can no longer digest them.  I'm Caucasian.  I'm an internet based creature in a place where it is joked that they have InterNOT.  I'm from GTA:  I'm used to humidity and fluctuations in temperature and getting anything I need or want from the store or delivered to my house.  I stopped cooking a few years ago.  I also have a young family of three children and a husband who is not coming with me.

Despite all that, in a handful of days, I will be Nunavummiut.

Welcome to Nunavut.  Welcome to Qikiqtaaluk (Baffin Island).  Welcome to Kinngait (Cape Dorset).

Welcome to the North.

(The snow out my front door)

1 comment:

  1. It's all about the journey. Thankful to be reminded of that. <3